Sigh

I can totally understand how people can get to a certain age, having not done anything they wanted to do, and be completely bored and unsatisfied with their life. It was never meant to be that way, but somehow it just turned out like that, and for whatever reason, your real goals aren't an option any more,or you dont believe you can achieve them any more etc.
I guess this is because in order to do everything you always wanted to do, ultimately you have to be selfish, or at least act in a way & make decisions which will make it seem that way to others. So, either you can be completely selfless and think about other people and their feelings, which feels like the right thing to do, but might leave you completely stuck and kind of second best to yourself (which seems completely wrong.) It may make you feel good about yourself to do things for other people, but might get you nowhere in the end, having always thought that you 'big break' or whatever would come later, and be more deserved because you put on hold the things you wanted for yourself.
The other option is: you can concentrate solely on yourself, maybe still with other people in mind, but choosing to do things or devote your time to things that in the end might leave others worse off. Not worse off in a huge way, but it's possible to end up thinking like: 'If only I'd done that for them, or waited a while longer to do this then it might have been better for them...' And also, there might be guilt that you didn't do enough, or even the possible resentment if you give up too much of your time and do too much. Somehow it doesn't seem possible to just balance the two.
I'm not saying having a family/partner/kids etc in any way is always a burden (it might not even be family, could be friends, or any other situation in which you feel obliged to put others first or simply forget about your needs for a while), but I think with a family you have to be selfless, which leads to what I said before. This brings me to relationships in general: as I was saying to Bean last night, if I ever got married (or was in any type of potentially long term relationship) whoever I was with would have to feel the same way as me, and not mind if I went off and did my own thing all the time. I mean, I think it's a bit unlikely to be honest... sigh. Maybe I'm just scared of commitment... I can't stand to be tied down, the same way I hate planning things! And routine!! Argh!
Even with making a living; you could concentrate on earning money, which would (perhaps for most people, not for all, obv) play a big part in your general happiness, but might mean you sacrifice your dreams (cheeeeese!!!) or don't fully enjoy your career; or on the other hand you could take a huge chance and embark on a career that probably wont bring you loads of money, but in which you would be much happier. Though the lack of money might counter that, and make you unhappy! Arg!! Why does it have to be so complicated ?! *dies*